Writer's block

Why is it that every time I have to write a paper I have nothing to say? Then when I do start writing it is stupid. I feel this is a legitimate question because I am the one who reads over what I wrote and scoffs at just how stupid it is. No really I feel I should be one of those people who carries a tape recorder around and talks into whenever I get a bright idea. You know the times. I feel that as a general rule when you no longer have the capability to write something your brain becomes relaxed and the thoughts flow more readily. This place is the toilet for many. Now as my husband has shown using his I-touch on the toilet has proven quite productive. No for me the best place seems to be when I am at the grocery store and one of my children is having a total melt down in the produce section. Yep this is when I would pull out my little tape recorder and begin to "write" or at least record my ingenious ideas. I think this might actually kill two birds with one stone. Not only would I make headway on papers and such but I would also look like an individual who was doing a case study on this "random" child and not some incapable mother who at this point would let the check out lady be a baby sitter if she offered.

Sometimes I question how far I am going to get in my classes when every time I sit down to write a paper I am bombarded with motherly "duties." Yesterday alone I learned that I cannot type a point and answer a child's question.Why not you may ask? My answer is because it does not make sense when your paper shifts from psycho analytic theory to why we are still "on a break" from scoobie-do. Oh and I learned that silly putty when left on the page of a text book for let's just say 45 min. does not come back off. Silly putty that is red does not come off and leaves a nice red stain.
Well at least I have 2 of the 5 questions finished in order to complete my midterm. That is something. Just 3 questions and 12 more pages to go.

caffine

I often reflect on how wonderful I think Caffine is. OH what wonders it does to my abililty to concentrate, my ability to get things done, oh and my ability to smile early in the morning when after being concious for all of 5 min. I have already been bombarded with a camillion questions. I love caffine! I think coffee is yummy. Capaccino's are to die for, iced tea good, and my all time favorite cherry coke. So there it is. I love it! Here comes the unfortunate part. I love caffine but caffine does not love me. We are not talking a simple "i can't sleep after 1 cup of coffee, or "I get jittery." If those were the problems I would easily guzzle lbs. of caffine. Literally. If I couldn't sleep after having caffine I would just drink more to make up for the lack of sleep. NO NO NO unfortunately for me I get bad (hmmm how do I say this and save my lady like disposition) I get uh well "intestinally sick." I mean EVERYTHING in body is completely cleaned out. I haven't had caffine for this reason in years. Well the other day I was grouchy, just plain grumpy. I got the kids around had already dropped 1 off at pre school and was on my way back home. I decided I desserved a treat. You know the treat...the congratulations on doing what you do. Kind of a "gold star of motherhood." You know what I'm talking about some out there call it BREAKFAST. Yeah so I decided I desserved breakfast so I went through MCd's drive through and got myself a mcskillet burrito Yum. I then ordered a small coke. I love coke and for some reason coke from mcdonalds is the best. I swear they slip some sort of chemical in it that makes me believe it's the best. So I got it. I then didn't drink it. I told myself you will regret this. Well eventually the drink called my name so loudly that I took a tiny sip of it just to shut it up. It was fabulous and everything I imagined and more. The cup, the straw, the ice, the carbonation...mmmm. Afterward I felt great. Then of course sadly enough sometime after dinner, and right before class it hit. I was actually driving to class. I was going to be surprisingly 20 min. early and was looking forward to nabbing my favorite left handed desk when it hit. My stomach started feeling crampy and I knew I needed to turn around. Yes if my entire insides were coming out I wanted to be on my toilet. So I went home..."freed my intestines" and then headed back to class. So alas I have decided it's just not worth it.
I love you caffine. I guess I will always stalk you from affar. Think about you, dream about you, picturing what it would be like if you and I could be together.

First Post

Why in the world am I typing a blog post when I have a 12-24pg. paper looming over my head? Well it's simple really, as long as I am typing and sitting at the computer I feel productive. Doesn't really matter the content just as long as I am typing. Well I feel this first post should be my official introduction into why I have even entered the world of blog land. Well I need blog therapy. Why? well I need to process somewhere and Hus-b can't always have me exploding on him as soon as he walks in the door. Well it wouldn't be right and he may begin to associate my face with explosions. I would rather he associate it with a princess or maybe a diamond. I digress. I am currently going back to school after having been out for some time. It has been a truely hard adjustment and that's not the half of it. I am just now coming to a journey of discovering a life. A life outside my kids, husband, home, friends etc. A real life that involves me learning and seeking out who God wants me to be. This is my sloppy journey into figuring out how to navigate life. Well I really should pick that paper back up again and go at it. Well here I go!